Dan Telfer (he/him/they)

• Booking Your Dungeon Master

Hail and well met! Maybe you know me as a comedian who has been on television, known for geekiness and crowdwork. Check out my Instagram for clips!I've written for TV, movies, and I've co-written a published book for a fantasy tabletop game. And I'd love to be your game master, dungeon master, and so forth!I've been a cast member of the Dungeons & Dragons podcast Nerd Poker since 2014, where I have woven entire continents.

Plus I've created monsters, mechanics, and stories for D&D itself.

As Narrative Lead of Cortex RPG I co-adapted Netflix's The Dragon Prince into the game Tales of Xadia.I've adapted tabletop games for Mattell, DC Comics, and more. I've been Senior Editor at MAD Magazine and Managing Editor of The Onion.Oh, and one time I sang background vocals on
They Might Be Giants' cover of Tubthumping.For all bookings please contact [email protected] 🙏

• Email
• Testimonials
• Instagram
• About

$100

per person, per session

What You Get

• Book Now

A unique, original story for you and your friends4 to 8 players2-3 hours a sessionSpecialized interactive online maps on Roll20Access to D&D Beyond expanded tools for your character creationVideo streamed through RiversideCharacter and party creation consultation during first sessionSafety tools that ensure the best possible experience for you and your group

$1500

per event

What You Get

• Book Now

A guaranteed flat rate per event4 to 8 players per session2 to 6 hours per eventOriginal storySame tools in a campaignMultiple sessions at same eventEmcee work and attendee chat200 person activity (lasts one hour)Formal dress by requestRates adjustable when variables change

Negotiable

per event

Can Include

• Book Now

Original story and tools tailored to youOpportunities to screen and inform gaming contentCustom game mechanicsOne on one consulting at an hourly rateMore than one event dayEmcee work and attendee chatWardrobe input from clientOption for G-Rated content
Classroom presentationsSpecial 10 - 200 person activity that only requires a free smartphone dice app (lasts 15 - 60 minutes)

Dan is such a talented comedian and performer, he's always doing hilarious voices and coming up with the most twisted, insane, gross, scary, weird, and funny characters— and enemies.He also does a great job of keeping track of all the crazy shit going on so the players never feel lost.Dan's brought many first time guests into the fold, giving them confidence and making them feel comfortable in a new and potentially awkward/confusing situation.-Ken Daly, cast member of Nerd Poker

Before Dan, never have I had the high of caving in an Aboleth's skull and the low of being extorted by a juvenile dragon turtle.Being a Nerd Poker fan I expected a world of both whimsy and abject horror, but it's such a delight to see that world unfold before your eyes.-Anthony Gonzalez

Dan has a ton of patience with newer (or rusty) players and is great at explaining game mechanics. He keeps things moving in an easygoing and fun way, while still keeping things engaging and exciting.And he isn’t shy about doling out consequences, which often really help keep the game moving. He turned me into a llama. Enough said.-Mandy

I expected a big world that would feel lived in and real, with 10/10 storytelling. Dan brought it.He has the ability to make the adventure as hard (or not) as the group can handle, no matter how organized. Puts the fun in dysfunction!Dan’s D&D home brew makes the game feel new again.-Orich ‘The Cussing’ Lord

Dan is a world builder, so you really do feel like the place that you are in matters and you are a part of a larger dynamic civilization.Dan creates a fun environment filled with memorable NPCs where we can be creative adventurers together every week.-Brian Tatosky

Dan's done some serious world building, and whether it's due to that or his unparalleled improvisational skills— probably BOTH— it feels like every possibility is open to his players. Our group brings a lot of chaotic what-if energy to D&D, and Dan's always open to and delighted by our weird choices.At times when we're taking an unrealistic amount of time to decide on a next move, Dan sets a timer to create a sense of urgency. It enhances the realism and sense of immersion, and seems to lead to moments of ingenuity that might not have happened otherwise.I knew from listening to Nerd Poker that Dan's non-player characters add so much to a game, but I didn't know what it would be like to "get to know them." Some (maybe most) are funny, one downright scared me, and one weirdo goblin is so dear to me that if he were ever to get skewered by a baddie, I would probably dissolve into a puddle of sobs.-Rachel Wilson

Dan has a knack for helping people feel comfortable and excited about exploring the world of D&D. He's not going to tell you what to do but but will empower you with information, if you need it, to make choices in the game.In the midst of a potential TPK battle with a drow matron, my character Felna was suddenly transported to another plain of existence! Her party members had no idea where she went or how to get her back. To this day, she's living in a cave, surviving as best she can in the bleak world of Gehanna while suffering from constant vertigo.It was so fun and came as such a shock! I did not see it coming.-Beth H. aka Felna aka Zeedra aka TBD

The combination of Dan's storytelling, world building, and humor/voice work makes every session great. Our party takes a lot of random left turns, and Dan manages so weave them right into the story.Dan's consistently prepared for the next session. He always knows exactly where we left off and where we were going. The world building is incredible. Dan's ability to guide us through the complex environment is everything I hoped it would be.A tabaxi rogue, run by another player in our group, went fishing and caught a giant shark. By rolling really well on a series of difficult skill checks, he managed to turn that shark's skin into a magical protective apron. Such a great, improvised development from what some people would treat like a mundane part of the game.-JonesFaceJones

• Book Now

About Legendary Writer/Performer, Dan Telfer

I refuse to indulge in a third-person perspective in this bio, none may stop me!I've been doing stand-up comedy for 25+ years, yet I am somehow extremely young and handsome.Also, I put my bio right at the top of the dantelfer.com splash page, so it's wild that you landed on this separate "About" page. I mean, thank you?I have done pretty much every kind of writing and performing. You get it. You're clearly one of the real ones. Hopefully one day Wikipedia will understand, you're saying to yourself.That's right, visitor. You saw what I did there—sliding right into second-person perspective. Death to third-person bios!